The first trimester of pregnancy 3 was not a happy one. As I have mentioned before it was filled with anxiety and emotion so I was very pleased to be going into the second trimester. Firstly, you should know I am shit at being pregnant. I find it takes a really long time and I feel like the time really drags. I have tried so hard not to whinge about this side of things as I am so grateful that I am pregnant and I am lucky in that I don’t have many pregnancy symptoms to contend with. All in all, I don’t have much to moan about but I seem to manage it. The time dragging along is my main annoyance in pregnancy especially when most folk that I see say to me “oh it’s flying by” and I think no, no it really isn’t. Growing a baby is a long old process. 40 weeks is a long time!
Along with finding out that the baby was free from SMA, Down’s Syndrome, Patau’s Syndrome and Edwards Syndrome we also found out that we were having a boy. We decided that we wanted to find out that what sex the baby was along with the genetics test because Joe thought that I needed to get my head around it. And he was right. I was really hoping that we would be having a girl. I know that is awful, I know that. All we really wanted was a healthy baby but part of me was very aware that this would be, probably, our last baby and I really wanted another girl. When the Genetic Counsellor said that we were having a boy I was elated but over that weekend I became increasing more and more upset, which looking back makes me feel so guilty. I am so glad that we found out so I did have that time to sort it out in my head and I did have the time to come to terms with the fact that we wouldn’t be having another girl. What really didn’t help was that when we told people that we were having a boy they said things like “you must be so relieved” or “having another girl would have been so hard”. At least I didn’t have to deal with all those emotions with a newborn! I know it sounds horrible and like I am being really awful but I was really gutted. I think a part of me felt that my family would feel complete again if we had another girl but with looking at it now my family is never going to be complete as Eilys won’t be here. In a lot of ways having a boy will be amazing and a lot easier. I know there will be similarities between any baby and Eilys but these would have been greater if it was a girl and it would have been too easy to compare the two of them which wouldn’t have been fair at all.
We went to a beautiful wedding of 2 of my lovely friends in the middle of February and we had a great time. Lisa and Suze are such an awesome couple and they were both so supportive of us as a family while Eilys was here. They breed rabbits and we went round to theirs several times with Eilys to do some “Pet therapy” which she absolutely loved. They got married at a beautiful venue overlooking the Roaches in Leek. The wedding was perfect and they both looked amazing. And we were having a fabulous time until Dylan coughed himself sick everywhere and we had to go home! Thanks dude!
Shortly after this I found a job online that I thought I was perfect for and thought “fuck it, no harm in applying”. I filled in the loooong application form and wrote a nice covering letter. In the additional info section I included the usual self-love, bigging myself up bit and then I wrote about Eilys and explained a little about what happened. I needed to explain my absence from work and I didn’t want to have to explain in an interview just in case I got upset. I sent it off and forgot all about it. A week later I had an email… I had an interview! Whoop whoop. The only downside was that it was on the same day that I had planned to go for a glass blowing lesson with my Mum! I rescheduled the glass blowing and planned to go to the interview. And then I only went and got the job! Yay! I really didn’t think I would but I did which was lovely and I was really looking forward to it.
Starting a new job after not really working for about 3 years was a bit of a shock to the system and the job was quite full on from the start but it was just what I needed. I was knackered and felt horribly guilty about leaving Dylan at preschool for longer 2 days a week but to be honest, I really needed this. I needed to have some “normal” and something that would occupy my mind for a bit. The job is as an exams officer at my local college and due to the time of year it was very much a hitting the ground running situation. There wasn’t really much chance for me to settle in before things got really busy. There have been a few occasions where I have thought that maybe I had made a mistake in getting a job whilst pregnant mainly because I am tired all the time but I am really enjoying doing something for me and I feel my confidence coming back in droves!
One of the worst things that I found with the second trimester is that due to me being tired all the time I am becoming bit of a shitty Mummy to Dylan. I am struggling to keep my cool with him and I get irritated really easily. I really hate this. Dylan is brilliant and awesome and I love him so so much but at times I just have zero patience at times and find myself being snappy and a bit of a nob to him. And I feel bad for going back to work and putting him in daycare so much. I am really looking forward to finishing work (when I am 33 weeks) and being able to spend lots of quality time with my gorgeous boy before he starts school. Hopefully once I finish work and I am able to chill some more I will be a better person and more importantly a better Mummy.
This pregnancy has bought with it some changes that I didn’t have with the other 2 primarily my boobs have been really achey and sore at time. For most this is a pregnancy annoyance but for it it fills me with a little bit of hope that maybe, just maybe this time breastfeeding will work out for me! I have been thinking a lot of how I am going to handle breastfeeding this time round. I am thinking that I am not going to bother trying all the supplements that I did when I was pregnant with Eilys. I don’t think they did anything anyway so I don’t think I am going to try again. I have been discussing with my Midwife about Colostrum banking and I think I’ll give it another go, starting from 36 weeks pregnant. I am going to give it a good go this time, like I did the other times, but like with Eilys I am not going to beat myself if it doesn’t work out. Keeping calm and chilled out about breastfeeding is going to be my motto! Oh and being positive!!
The second trimester also brought huge growth… bump-wise. I feel bloody hugemongous! With both Dylan and Eilys I spent a lot of pregnancy moaning that I didn’t really have a bump. With Dylan I just looked fat, mainly because I ate a lot of crap. With Eilys I just didn’t seem to get overly bumpy. But this time, my oh my, I definitely look preggo and I defo looked preggo earlier than ever before. I outgrew most of my clobber at the 13 week mark so I have been living in maternity clothes since. I really hate buying maternity clothes, it is such a fleeting time that you need them and this time I don’t plan to have any more babies so it feel like a total waste of money. See, I am always moan moan moan! Anyway, I have bought some bits and pieces and some “normal” clothes in bigger sizes or baggier styles than normal. But yeah, this time I have a bump and I look pregnant for sure.
Something that is increasingly becoming an issue is indigestion. Since starting Slimming World, in 2014, I tend to have a treat day on Saturday. I have reined these in a bit this pregnancy but I still enjoy having something a little naughty on a Saturday. At the moment thought these have come hand in hand with indigestion which sucks. Things that I am unable to eat this pregnancy so far are hula hoops, pringles, butter on toast, more than 2 slices of wholewheat bread a day, white bread, crumpets, beef and sometimes Olives. Nightmare! Haha. It’s not so bad as long as I know what my triggers are. Overeating is definitely out too, which is a good thing and so is eating late at night. My other bowel related issue is (and I am only telling you thins because we’re friends, right?) that at times I suffer from bad trumpees. Not pleasant! Dylan thinks it is funny but at times it is mortifying!!
That is about all about the second trimester. I am writing this at 28 weeks pregnant with the next 12 weeks stretching out in front of me I am hoping that it’ll be smooth sailing and chilled! I hope the 3rd trimester brings more sleep, haha as if, and that I am able to just enjoy being pregnant!
Thanks for reading