I have been thinking a lot recently about how different it has been during the first few months with Eilys and with Evan. I suppose I am in a fairly unique position in that I have gone from having one child to 2 children twice. It is a fairly unique experience but also very depressing position.
When Eilys was born Dylan was 2 years and 2 months old (or 26 months). He was a very active and very bright little thing. He had just started to go to Nursery 2 mornings a week so that I could have some one on one time with the new baby. Joe would take him to nursery before he went to work and then I would collect him just after lunch. We were really lucky because Dylan was always very gentle and loving towards his sister. He was quite helpful too and was at an age where he could understand me quite well and he was good at entertaining himself. Apart from collecting him from Nursery we didn’t have any other things that we had to do. We could stay at home all day every day if we wanted to. Dylan was always really good and willing to walk into town or to the little park near our house or to the big park a little further from our house or to the library, We had bought a buggy board so that he could ride along on the pushchair if he was too tired to walk too. We had a toddler group that we went to on a Tuesday morning but apart from that we didn’t really have any commitments. Going from 1 to 2 the first time was tough, it was a struggle some days and Mummy guilt definitely played a big role in our lives, I felt torn at times. Dylan was at an age when he would seize any opportunity to push boundaries and act out especially when I was breastfeeding Eilys. Seeing the bond grow between the 2 of them was so wonderful. Dylan would often need encouragement to play or one of us to play with him which would be difficult if we needed to be busy with Eilys.
Evan was born 2 weeks before Dylan started school. Dylan was 4 years and 4 months old (or 52 months). So we had 2 weeks of lolling around the house and not going anywhere if we didn’t want to until school runs hit. Getting Dylan out of the house to Preschool was a painful task at times and add into that scenario a newborn and things get tough. Actually the newborn wasn’t too tricky to get out out the house, it is harder now trying to get both boys to have breakfast and then dressed and leave the house to get to school by 8:45 is a nightmare. But we manage it! Once Dylan is at school we have 5.5hrs to do things which sounds like ages but really isn’t. I feel like I am always doing school run. Whereas with Eilys if we’d had a bad night we could just have a chill day (as Dylan would say) but that is a no go as we always have to drag ourselves to school. Some days it is a nightmare with a lot of grumpy-voices and some yelling. Also Evan naps while he is on the school run so sometimes it makes it difficult and there is definitely no time for Mummy to nap! Dylan is incredibly loving and caring towards his brother and the bond they have is lovely to watch. Dylan is incredibly helpful with Evan, he helps to entertain him and will mostly fetch things for me if I need him to. Dylan is a lot more independent now and can happily entertain himself by reading, drawing, playing or gorming at Netflix. Once we got into a good routine we found everything a lot easier. But getting into a routine was tough to begin with.
All in all going from 1 child to 2 children is tough but I think with the added pressure of the school run and all the other activities that go along with school it is slightly harder this time round. But neither experience was a patch on going from 0 to 1 child, that shit was brutal!!
Thanks for reading