4th time’s the hardest…

Today should have been Eilys' 4th birthday. Her 4th Birthday. Every time I think it or say it it hurts. This one seems to hurt more than the others did. I think the reason for this is that with turning 4 comes so many changes in a child's life. At 4 a child becomes their... Continue Reading →

Why purple?

Today should have been Eilys' 4th Birthday. On her birthday I ask people to wear something purple in her memory. Eilys always had a lot of purple things, she wore a lot of purple and it looked lovely on her. It suited her beautiful colouring. Her pale skin, her gingery/strawberry blonde hair and her intense... Continue Reading →

The things I would tell myself…

Baby loss awareness week has made me feel very reflective. I have been thinking a lot of Eilys and about other babies who have died, I have been thinking about how parents navigate grief and how the wider family and friends cope too. Sometimes I feel like that Eilys' death hasn't changed me, that I... Continue Reading →

And then it hits you…

We have just been camping for the weekend. We love camping. Joe and I went camping quite a lot before we had children and we took Dylan camping when he was about a year old. We took Eilys "glamping" in a Yurt and we have taken Evan a couple of times. I love how free... Continue Reading →

Saying Goodbye

Today is the last day in my hard month. June 12th to July 7th are the hardest time for me throughout the year. Today it is 2 years since Eilys' Funeral. I haven't really spoken about the funeral itself before, I don't really. But I wanted to blog about it to mark the day. I... Continue Reading →

2 years without Eilys

I can’t believe that it has been 2 years since Eilys died. 2 years. I say these cliches all the time, it feels like forever ago and no time at all. Some days I wonder how I have come to this point. None of it seems real. Eilys was here and now she isn’t. It... Continue Reading →

Snowdrops for Eilys

So a few months ago I had a little brainwave... Occasionally I have ideas, sometimes they are good and other times they are a little shit. This was a good one though (I thought). Now, I love a pin badge. I always have and I probably, hopefully, always will. They seem to be very cool... Continue Reading →

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