4th time’s the hardest…

Today should have been Eilys' 4th birthday. Her 4th Birthday. Every time I think it or say it it hurts. This one seems to hurt more than the others did. I think the reason for this is that with turning 4 comes so many changes in a child's life. At 4 a child becomes their... Continue Reading →

Pregnancy After Loss

I was expecting the early weeks of being pregnant to be hard. I knew that I would have to await the results of a test for SMA. I knew that the early weeks are stressful anyway, especially now that I am that little bit older. At 36 years old I am now classed as a... Continue Reading →

The things I would tell myself…

Baby loss awareness week has made me feel very reflective. I have been thinking a lot of Eilys and about other babies who have died, I have been thinking about how parents navigate grief and how the wider family and friends cope too. Sometimes I feel like that Eilys' death hasn't changed me, that I... Continue Reading →

Brandon

This week is Baby Loss Awareness Week. Baby loss is such an emotive topic and has so many facets to it. Eilys dying is the hardest thing that I have ever had to live through but it was not my first experience with baby loss. My best friend's first baby was stillborn. I wanted to... Continue Reading →

Saying Goodbye

Today is the last day in my hard month. June 12th to July 7th are the hardest time for me throughout the year. Today it is 2 years since Eilys' Funeral. I haven't really spoken about the funeral itself before, I don't really. But I wanted to blog about it to mark the day. I... Continue Reading →

2 years without Eilys

I can’t believe that it has been 2 years since Eilys died. 2 years. I say these cliches all the time, it feels like forever ago and no time at all. Some days I wonder how I have come to this point. None of it seems real. Eilys was here and now she isn’t. It... Continue Reading →

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